Whether or Not

It is hard to maintain composer in the midst of waiting at times. Yesterday, I had my blood test and found when the phone rang in the afternoon with my doctor's number that my heart was racing. Even after I heard the news, that the results weren't in yet I had a hard time calming down. 

"We'll call you back tomorrow" were the goodbye words from the nurse. Long after goodbye my heart still felt panicked.
As I took a walk last evening, I tried to coach my heart into relaxing, glazing at the mountain scene and stars, I found these words. 

Whether I am pregnant
Or 
Whether I am not

I am still a child of God
I am loved by him and I trust in him.

I had to recite this a few times, wanting to believe it and knowing these were words of encouragement that God wanted me to hold on to during these next few hours especially. 

As I wait today, my heart keeps races up and down at various moments and I keep wondering if my phone is working. 
So I once again repeat:


Whether I am pregnant
Or 
Whether I am not

I am still a child of God
I am loved by him and I will trust in Him.