Threads of Normal

A pic from our Christmas LOTR viewing party.

"How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart, you begin to understand, there is no going back?"

I know a bit dramatic, right? For those who don’t already know, this is a quote from Frodo at the end of the Lord of the Rings series “Return of the King.” We love this trilogy and watch the extended cut versions of each movie every Christmas. We’ve been doing this since the first movie came out in December 2001.

The line above has been wafting through my mind this week when trying to "return to normal" which is not really possible. So instead we enter a new season of normal. Some things are comfortable and familiar like our home and own bed, instead of a hotel or hospital room. For me (Jenn), it means returning to work and music classes – but still wondering how Josh is feeling when I am away from him. For Josh, this means resting a lot more and continuing a daily schedule of daily radiation therapy, chemotherapy pills along with other meds and doctor appointments as needed. It's relying on a lot of friends and family to help us out in new ways. And all of us trying to trust the process and God when we don't always feel like it.

To be honest, it all feels a bit fragile and subject to change at a moment’s notice. The treatments are not too hard on Josh and he feels okay most days but still very tired. What you don’t see behind the smiling photos is how hard Josh is working to do the basics. I could write a whole other post introducing “Josh, my husband with a brain tumor” and what this looks like to the outside world – I probably actually will (soon). 

We’re hoping and praying that a lot what was “normal” for Josh will return. My biggest hope and prayer is that Josh can both think and communicate more clearly and that he will find hope and peace in the midst of treatment. 
As we navigate all of this, we ask for your continued prayers, grace and patience as we walk day by day in this "new normal" that we find ourselves in.

I am still so thankful today and the wisdom and strength that God provides. It is in HIS strength that we continue day by day.
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​If you are curious, Josh is doing basically a minute of radiation therapy every day, Mon. - Fri., along with a good dose of Temador (chemo pill), steroids and a new medicine called Avastin to help with swelling.

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We had a good week as I celebrated my graduation, we spent time with friends and family and even celebrated my cousin Adam's graduation and soon send off to Army boot camp. There were tiny moments when things felt pretty normal and even even joyful. We love our friends and family!