Relentless Grief, Unrelenting Love

The ocean has always been a place of renewal and hope, clarity and strength. Again today, on this cool January morning of 2020, I am reminded of God’s love and care.

Looking out across the northern Pacific Coast I am mesmerized by the constant crashing of waves. Most are large and powerful, splashing upon the unassuming rocks, a few gently hit the shore.

This is what grief feels like. In many ways, it is what 2019 felt like. Constantly getting hit by something bigger, stronger and more powerful than me. There is beauty, at times, but it’s hard to withstand. I wonder what these same rocks looked like last year. Are there a few more pieces of these pillars in the ocean?

With a clear view of this raging sea, a new thought hits me. In the same way that grief, sorrow and pain of loss echoes, so does God’s love. A love that is unrelenting. This renewed thought fills me with hope.

Yes, grief waves continue to hit, but right behind each one, God’s grand love crashes through. I can feel the pattern of God’s response.

    Wave of grief
    “I AM HERE”
    Heartache & doubt
    “I AM WITH YOU”
`   Worry and fear
    “TRUST ME. YOU ARE LOVED, CHERISHED.”

On and on the responses go, sometimes more hopeful, other times more sorrowful. With each step in my grief journey God is with me, guiding me, teaching me, strengthening me, sitting with me. He is healing my heart and renewing my strength, even if it's battered down by sorrow and still filled with questions.

Today’s Bible verse of the day seems to fit perfectly once again:

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; 
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.   
– Isaiah 40:31

Backing up to verse 28, another reminder of God’s strength rings out, which in The Message reads:

Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening?
God doesn’t come and go. God lasts.
    He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath.
    And he knows everything, inside and out.

Today, I am thankful for a God who knows me in this season.
One who remains strong as I pause . . .  often . . . to catch my breath.
An unrelenting God who keeps coming after me. Wave after Wave.