Love & Family

There are things I love because of you.

A well cooked burger, the city of Republic and the smell of fresh mowed grass when driving on windy country roads on a Missouri evening.

I can almost hear you saying the words, “I just love that smell...” as I cruise with the windows down. It was phrase you often repeated.

There are other things I love because of us, because our stories collided and became one. These are things we both loved, music, evening drives and more.

Mixed with this, is your family that has also become mine over the years. Without you, I would have never known them to the level I do today. And I can’t imagine my life without them.

Tonight, sitting across the table from my mother-in-law (your mom) and my niece and nephews, the thought hit me that I am able to love them and know them because of you. How very special this is!

Of course, your absence is felt, but even as you are gone, they remain part of my life and heart here and now — and as far as I am concerned, forever.

Your brother, sister, mom and their families are part of me now too. How truly special this is.

As I navigate grief and wonder what the future for me looks like, I am curious to know how new people mixing in could work. There’s a lot of time to process that whole topic - for sure - but I can’t help wonder.

Today, my heart is simply grateful for the things I love because you loved them and for the people I love because my story blended with your story and became grander.

Life, even in its complications and heartache, can be still filled with nights of laughter, love and even bike rides. ❤️

​It is wonderful to enjoy the moments that could be described as a blend of joy and sorrow almost perfectly.