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Grieving On . . . 

Grief doesn't end but rather continues as part of our story

Grief Tornado

9/22/2020

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Like a sudden storm that hits, grief can try and swallow you up at times and create a mess out of things that are seemingly in order .

Life may be ticking along when suddenly a call, conversation or memento triggers a million thoughts.

Today, I opened the jewelry box to find my wedding ring. I put it on. I wore it for several hours.

I hadn't worn it in many months - So why would I put it on now?

Because I love the ring, it’s pretty. It fits my finger perfectly.  And I miss wearing it.

Beyond this, I miss being married. I miss how comfortable our relationship was and how I had learn to navigate life with someone I loved greatly, who in turn loved me greatly.

Here and now, it’s really tricky because I want that again. But that specific relationship is not one that I can have exactly. Because, that combo of people is unavailable.

Sure, I can find similar feelings and a similar connection with someone. There is a lot of opportunity for love and relationship still it is going to look different.

Putting on this old ring. I almost want to pretend Josh is just out of town - it’s my heart and mind still bargaining with truth.

However, the truth is still unavoidable.

After a little while, I put this treasured ring back in the box. I 
take a deep breath and ask for God’s wisdom in trusting him more as I navigate my future next steps - whatever this means.
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    Author: Jenn

    Hi! It's Jenn Brown, writing my story that is now slightly different as we enter a season of new grief. On September 30, 2019, my dear husband Josh passed away after battling brain cancer. 

    Life for me weirdly continues on and I'm continuing to share my heart and journey here in this space as a way to process and hopefully encourage others in their grief journey also. It's not easy for any of us.   

    Read more about Josh's cancer battle here.

    Follow me: #jennbrownadventures
    #grievingon

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