A BIG DAY on the Horizon

Today is a big day - 10/29 - Josh's birthday. I'm not sure how this day will go but I'll be spending it in Dallas with friends, eating great food, hanging at the mall and more. Maybe this day will feel like every day, a day without my favorite person. Already in my head, I can hear Josh rattling off the date, 10-29-77 - it was the one thing he had to say most often at all the doctors appointments and one he could easily remember even when his brain was muddled. It is a repeating loop in my mind though:

102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977102977. . .

I am both thankful for this day and sadden by it. Without Josh, my life would be VERY different. And here now, without Josh my life IS different and changing. What a riddle.

The photo above is from October of last year as we celebrated his 41st birthday. Oh how I'd love another great photo on his 42nd. I will have a few from today but none will include Josh's fabulous smile. I will celebrate him still!

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